The importance of Education is about survival and protection.

I couldn’t believe it, when I was checking out the latest news on ‘Occupy London’ and clicked through to the …. of Ideas (I leave a space here, where I think those involved are also leaving a huge void…, but that’s for another blog!) and friended them on my FB page, only to get a feed saying that Alessio Rastani was speaking to this bunch of ‘free radicals’ at their new home about the markets…

I tuned in for his presentation only to realise that this was the guy who caused that furore on the BBC that evening by saying that traders were not interested in fixing the markets; that is not their job. Their job is to profit no matter whether the market is healthy or recession looms.

I remember laughing out loud as I ate my tea listening to this guy and tipped my cap at his honesty. They guy was obviously ingenuous and it seems was subsequently taken aback by the response his forthright commentary received.

When I realised this same guy thought nothing of going to talk directly at the …. of Ideas, I had even more respect for him.

I am really not sure if his words were pearls before swine in this video. It’s clear he had to stand his ground as a man making a living by capitalism and was not ashamed of the fact. Nor should he be. As much as there is wrong and corrupt within the systems we daily confront in all its messy detail, we are all forced to compromise in one way or another in order to succeed at our goals…

What Alessio Rastani says here is a lesson to us all. We are in the doo-doo right now and frankly, I don’t see us moving towards growth any time soon – even if that were any kind of ideal anyway, given its lack of consideration of ecological capital. So, it’s up to every one of us to learn what we can about what is going on in that mysterious world of the markets that infiltrates every aspect of our daily life… And to make the best we can of it to achieve financial freedom, measured only against our personal values and out impacts on others …

This is still all very new to me right now, but I appreciate the likes of Alessio’s leadership and commitment to sharing his knowledge with anyone who will listen. Until trading currencies on the forex markets can be demonstrated as inherently immoral to me, I am learning everything I can and will be following his and the trading community’s lead. What a way to earn a living!

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Your Crash Course in Online Business Success

I had a slight eye-opener of a conversation with a friend just recently after feeling really upset over some personal events that had happened. I told her that I struggled with depression, which was making what had happened pretty tough for me to deal with. She told me that she didn’t think I was depressed.

In a sense, in spite of the weight I felt inside, she was right. Her experience of me on the whole is of my being pretty positive about how I go about my life. However, what my friend failed to realise was that it is my long-time experience of keeping depression from blighting my life, having come back from the brink a few times, which forces me to always take a positive stance in relation to challenging circumstances.

The fact is, of late a combination of difficulties just led to my breaking down temporarily and feeling set back in dealing with some of the more personal stuff going on at that time. I am pushing into new territory in my life and at times, that could get pretty scarey, if I let it.

For anyone who has taken any time here before, you will be aware of my moves towards taking greater control of my financial life, developing an online presence and deciding to establish my own business in spite of what might be construed as a wider economic depression. Certainly, the markets of late would confirm this sense of pervasive gloom about the prospects for growth and recovery amongst the various classes of equities.

Neverthelss, in spite, of all of this general depression happening – in addition to my own – I nevertheless took another step forward recently in making a decision to learn a new set of skills, which build on my knowledge and in turn I am learning even more about those topics for which I have a natural interest. There are some issues which I have never been able to walk away from and which I sometimes feel incredibly ambivalent about, to the point of having regularly and actively turned away from over the past decade or so.

I’m talking about my love-hate relationship with the wider political and economic world.

But everyones’ circumstances change. I’ve now made that difficult decision that I want out of the broke world of employment as soon as I can possibly make it… And I have achieved some success in securing freelance work online from home via People Per Hour. (For anyone else looking for an extra source of income, I recommend checking them out).

But still, much as I love writing, the coywriting contracts have not been so forthcoming. The competition online is fierce, when you are up against cousins in poorer parts of the world who can pull the pricing rug from under you in competitive terms!

However, having eventually secured some regular part-time work, via PPH, after numerous failed bids, I now need to supplement my basic income. I decided to think the unthinkable and consider trading the markets, whilst I lack the capital to pick up with my next network marketing ventures.

Now, let’s be clear here, I’m a smart girl. I know that, but my friend, the fact is, I also have really poor numeracy skills. Yes, I got my ‘O’ level back in the day, but for that I have to thank the ever supportive Mr. Curtis, of the dynamic Curtis teacher-brother duo, for holding my hand for two years and dragging me through that awful exam…

To give you an idea of my attitude to numbers… I was that eleven year old kid in his class who answered a quick fire times table question one day – correctly… times-tables are not too much of a problem…everything else IS – only for Mr. Curtis to reverse the sum, which I also answered correctly. He then asked what the answer would be if I stood on my head and did the calculation. FATAL!

As a visual learner with no clue of the symbolic value of apparently meaningless cyphers, I, seeing these cyphers in my back to front- upside down minds’ eyes, reversed the figures in the answer, so they were back to front. Perfect sense to me! Of course, I was wrong… 7×8=56 no matter how upside down a girl’s world is! But determined to prove his point or teach me a vital lesson, Mr. Curtis sent me outside to do a handstand, say the multiplication and come back with the answer.

I went into the school yard. I did my hand-stand, pictured the numbers which stayed understandably turned upside down with me and appeared back-to front. So, I duly came back insisting 65 was MY answer!

He didn’t laugh out loud and bless him, he didn’t allow anyone in the class to laugh either. But I think that day just reinforced the fact that I was never really going to excel in maths! In fact, to this day, adding up, subtraction, problem solving and percentages still make me very edgy and unsure. Doing my accounts is my worst nightmare!!!

So why am I now looking at learning about the Forex market? (I mean apart from the possible unethical impacts of trading in that market?) TRADING IS ALL ABOUT NUMBERS AND COMPLEX CALCULATIONS!

Well, I guess, because no matter how difficult I find something to do, one thing that never gets in my way of forging ahead, once my mind is set on a course of action, is FEAR. Even if I believe the sky will fall on my head and the Gods may strike me down for trying, I defy all the evil forces stalking this world to stop me in my curiosity! My depression is about the PAST, not the FUTURE!

For some people, they go through life letting fear get in their way of exploring new options. Not me. If anything, I REFUSE to succumb to what stands in the way of progress, be it the world’s or my own…

At the end of the day, I do have a problem here. I want to be financially independent. There are no jobs in the Welsh Valleys for someone with my background… To say nothing of my recent appalling employment record. Then there’s that unwillingness to stay in the closet any longer about my A.D.D. (I have even got to the point of disclosing my ‘disability’ on the relevant section of employment applications. I figure if they don’t want me, what the heck? I’m not suited there anyway.)

The last thing I want is to end up with some tosser of a boss who looks down their nose at me because they believe that my ‘mental incapacity’ which they have not got a clue about is going to screw up their work flow. I just don’t need that kind of attitude, when every day is a battle to keep focus, concentration and effort as it is.

So, here I am. Watching videos and reading incredible amounts of fascinating and terrifyingly dense information about what is going on in that strange financial world out there which dictates how most of the general population lives… And perhaps, more importantly, which the few have learnt to understand how to turn to their advantage…

Well, I am not one for re-inventing the wheel and I figure why change the habit of a life-time… I’m addicted to learning new things. Learning has served me well; it sustains me through the tougher challenges. I’m back on the path to Life-long Learning and fighting my way through this current bout of depression – my own and in the wider world – and I’m happier by the day.

Sure, some of it is still gobbledegook, but I’m confident enough to know, that it is a matter of time and persistant effort and playing ‘Follow My Leader’. So, nowadays my email inbox is crammed with marketing enewsletters from traders and brokers who would have me sign up to their training courses or brokerage platforms… And I’m lapping it up! There might be lots of people losing money out there right now, but it isn’t going to stop me finding out more about how to avoid their mistakes!

I always wondered why the news ends with talk of stock exchanges and currencies…

Ever wondered about what they were talking about at the end of the news with all that talk of ‘footsy’ and markets being depressed, or how the hell banks have the power that they do?

If I can learn this stuff, so can anyone else with some effort … Don’t be scared of what you do not understand … New knowledge could help you make money and free you from all the clammering noise of depression going on around right now http://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics?link=MW_Nav_EP

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So many gurus out there are offering to give you support to get your home business ideas off the ground, it’s mind-boggling sometimes.

Having left yet another network-marketing opportunity recently and still being determined to work from home on my own terms, frankly, I have been signing up left, right and center for enewsletters on how to take my ideas forward.

I now have my sights set on where I want to go; frankly, that’s the easy bit. The hard bit is the ‘breaking it down’ – the working backwards from the dream to the here and now and then carving my own path forward to becoming an entrepreneur.

For someone with A.D.D., that’s pretty hard and today, I start for real pulling my own saleable product together into a business plan for me to work through step by step.

After crashing out of my last MLM, wondering if I was jsut destined to be a failure, because people with ADD are terrible at seeing projects through to the end – it’s one of our weak spots. I wondered if I was ever going to complete anything.

If the truth be told, I only ever stuck at one job for five years maximum. Beyond that, the only thing I have stuck at for any longer than that, is living in the same house for nearly a decade… and given the state of some of the home decor, you wouldn’t believe I’d been there that long!

I am an ideas girl, sure, but the doing and sustaining the actions necessary really is the hard part. So starting with belief in myself on a daily basis, really has been the thing that has kept me going. Because in terms of tangible results, whilst I can see progress, it sometimes feels like I am still not much closer to the goal!

But really, it’s the sticking with it that counts. Every guru I have ever read or listened to says the same thing. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other; the effects will be cumulative.

I have amassed an incredible amount of knowledge of how to run an online and offline business this past few years, since losing the day jobs. I find it incredible how much potential I now have to really change the direction of my whole life because of the studying and efforts I have put in to creating a new life path for myself beyond the 9-5.

Even if I end up going back there to keep the roof over my head (that leaks!), I also have another stream of income which is helping me right now, which I would never have had, if I had have stuck at the job I had a few years ago. It does not pay even half of what I earned back then, but it doesn’t matter.

I don’t commute. And I can honestly say, that since the passing on of my four legged friend a couple of months ago, I now no longer even have to get dressed for the day and can just shower and put on fresh pyjamas for the day’s work, then fall into bed without even thinking about getting changed!

If that sounds less than hygienic or ideal to some of you, well we are all different, but hey, I have so much else to cram in these days, it suits me perfectly.

If you are looking to find another income stream, start by checking out the freelance sites here on the net.

I began with PeoplePerHour.com, but there are plenty of other online work agencies these days, catering for all skill sets, try . Because, I now know that I need to stick with what I am good at, I use copywriting sites to get writing, proof-reading or other creative contracts.

Freelance options can keep you afloat whilst you continue to build towards your bigger goals. I would have gone under a lot sooner, had it not been for the growing options for working at home. When I have finished paying the bills, the time I have I continue to invest as ‘sweat equity’ into my business to be.

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Have Fun Making Plans

Illuminations

I realised yesterday it was already the eve of Bonfire Night once more.  Another year nearly over and another time for reflection on how my plans for building permanent and lasting wealth, well-being and happiness for my future are panning out.  This time of year is always a little weird and wobbly for me.  I wish I knew why the sound of fireworks going off generally has set my nerves on edge so much in the past.  It’s not as if I am old enough to remember the Blitz or anything!  But there is something about the sounds and the sentiments surrounding this time of year that can make me somewhat edgy and emotional.

Bonfire night has associations of childhood and excitement for most people.  It evokes memories of shared family fun for many -sparklers, Cathryn wheels, local bonfire displays.  For me, however, it is truly the most painful time of the year. It beats Christmas and Easter hands down on the sadness Richter Scale. These two traditional family oriented celebrations are supposed to be the most depressing celebrations in the British calendar for those who are alone. Bonfire night – who gets depressed over that?

Well, is there anyone else out there, who gets choked as the smoke from the local fireworks and fires cloud the night? Surely, I am not the only one who tries to ignore it. Or at least try not to dwell too much on remembering too many teenage Bonfire Nights gone before, when I just felt plain lonely, listening and watching others’ fireworks through bedroom windows, half-aware that others were sharing fun and laughs, whilst I was alone.  It took all the pleasure out of watching the lights go off above rooftops around.

Flashes of Inspiration

It has not always been like this, thank goodness. There was only one period of my life I can remember really enjoying the fireworks and that was when I lived in a tenth storey flat on the outkirts of Madchester, where I enjoyed fantastic views over Manchester city centre and the outskirts of Salford.  Those seven years, I had a balcony view of some of the most fantastic firework displays I have ever experienced and anyone else could hope for.  The pyrotechnics were a point of pride for the city which had two firework factories. They were breathtaking in their scale.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence, that this was a time which coincided with a sense of freedom I had never known in my own home town.  Perhaps that was why I could enjoy the displays without any of the old associations coming to mind for me again in these here valleys tonight.  Nobody to share with… but you folk reading…

Afterglow

So now I have laid bare a little of the sadness in my soul, I also want to share some of the good stuff about being alone tonight with the spirit of Guy Fawkes stalking the land… The point is, writing about my take on Bonfire Night helps me get over any of the mental and emotional blocks I have with this difficult night of the year.

Here’s the thing, No matter how difficult this or any other day for any one of us, there is always some satisfaction in sharing our struggles over the hurdles we perceive before us… Some new lesson learnt, some new milestone achieved by just acknowledging the challenge and doing something to tackle it and move forward…

For me right now, regardless of whatever happened back there in childhood to mar the enjoyment of Guy Fawkes’ legacy, the objective truth is simply this, I am still here and I am, albeit intermittently, still ‘Being, Doing and Having’ and writing my blog of how it goes sometimes for this would-be entrepreneur.

I have recently been making a bonfire of all my entrepreneurial ‘failures’ in my mind this past few weeks and the smoke is already clearing here.   I know what I have to do, even if I am still learning to follow maps through darkened ante-chambers and adapt to unexpected doors locked, walls to break through and gates to climb en route.

There is still, amongst whatever residual sadness I feel, a lasting – albeit sidelined -joy on bonfire night. For me there is something about seeing lights in a sky which is all dark which reminds me that faith exists, even if we do not feel it all of the time. The flashes of colour are but glimpses which leave us anticipating the delight, beauty and wonder of the next one to come; this is the excitement of Bonfire Night.  Fireworks are a reminder that the year moves on, as do our plans and that even in the cold of Winter, there are reasons to keep feeling optimistic and grateful for any warmth from the fires we may have lit in our world.

Smoke Clears

I have much to celebrate this year. I have my home still – in spite of the pervading threat of reposession. I have my cat, Milly to cuddle me, even if my trusty pooch, Mo, has now left us. I have my lap top and thus my connection to the world, even if my ability for paying the next installment is touch and go!  I have food… Even if the cupboards seem bare by comparison to the days of the 9-5. I have a community of readers and online friends…

I have much more than many millions of people the world over could possibly ever dream of… So tonight, I am letting go of some residual sadness I attach to this time of year.  Guy Fawkes, whether you agree with his methods or not, you have to agree that he at least had the spirit and drive to change what he saw as the wrongs in his world… He and his conspirators acted on their convictions and did the unthinkable.  Any self-respecting British person would do well to heed his legacy. We don’t light put his effigy on the top of the fire out of some jingoistic loyalty to our ‘great British democracy’. We acknowledge the power of his and his collaborators’ determination in acting on their belief… His audacity is an example to anyone who lacks fire in their belly to light the touch paper on their own aspirations and dreams….

So I will continue to keep unlocking doors and tramping through darkness … Pulling the threads of my passions and convictions together into some kind of coherent plan for how I want my own future to look.  Looking forward to the day when my ideas take light and maybe inspire others to follow…

Right now as I share the sounds of fireworks going off outside, I feel I can breathe a little easier this Bonfire Night and even enjoy some of the startling and unanticipated eruptions around the valley tonight… So tonight I mind the smokey air and sense of fear or of being an outsider less than in recent years, because tonight, I feel thre is reason again for a celebration of hope for something better permeating my psyche nowadays.

Sharing Hopes, Plans and Dreams

Who knows, maybe I am not really alone anyway, because, I know I share similar lifestyle aspirations with potential future collaborators and co-conspirators now, because even if they are no longer at my side carrying barrels of gun-powder, we are all within the walls together!

So, reader, make your plans and continue to act on the. Fire your dreams and hopes up, no matter how audacious and in spite of whatever ridicule or apathy of those you encounter on the way. Let’s celebrate even when plans go wrong! After all, the Gun Powder Plot conspirators didn’t manage to blow up the Houses of Parliament.  But Guy Fawkes succeeded in not being hung drawn and quartered, even if he broke his neck and died in the process of the consequences of his actions!!! He died following his beliefs and in the end, nobody got hurt, but he and his co-conspirators!

Enjoy your bonfires!

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