More and more as I get to grips with my own financial position and difficulties experienced in recent years, I am coming back to bigger picture again. I am not saying I am not responsible for the financial difficulties I have had, but that I am increasingly aware of how my actions echo the behaviours of so many others out there – particularly in this UK so-called ‘home-owning democracy’.

When I took on my mortgage, I never expected to have protracted challenges to earning… Although I lost my well-paid job at the beginning of the 2008 crash; although I knew it was difficult to get work in the Valleys of South Wales, I believed I was educated and experienced enough to gain employment again.

But my skills have been in those replacable or expendable types of work. I learnt secretarial skills. I developed administerial skills and used my communication skills to build bridges between middle class institutions and those people from my own working class traditions, falling back on these basic skill sets for a good part of my working day.

Job growth, however, is a busted flush for many like me, who sat in the middle of the skilled sector.

MY efforts to learn whole new skills and create my own work and even seek self-employment have been out of some understanding that I might never secure a job again, even if I had have wanted to – which actually, I didn’t.

I have played for high stakes, but finally, my strife and stretches are paying off. Going online and putting my skills and experience out into the international market online has saved my bacon!

I am still selling my skills as before, but in a more creative way and in a way that brings me closer to where I want to be and closer to those, with whom I want to play.

The game is leaner and meaner, but my skills are being honed even more keenly than ever before. My crisis has happened and -who would have believed it! – I am coming out stronger than before.

My consultation and marketing skills are better than ever before. The question is now, how far are we through the present big picture of economic crisis and even more importantly, how will the Swiss economy, on which I now depend for the bulk of my freelance income?

How self-sustaining and sustainable is my income right now? I am still dependent on an economy to some degree linked into the European economy. Growth in the economy of my contract provider will be key. I find myself getting curious about a country I never before had any interest in and always believed was the homeland of the truly rich… That’s as may be.

But I am not so foolish as to believe that there are not businesses going ot the wall there too. I am having those conversations during the course of my work.

This awareness is making me even more keen and committed to giving my contract provider added value, offering copywriting consultancy and content, which wil guarantee greater degrees of success for him over his competitors.

I am digging deeper daily and learning all the time… Always with my eyes beyond on other prizes and other streams of income. I am hyper-aware that to depend on one single work provider is a risky strategy.

Even as I work my brain to death daily to produce wealth for another, I am continuing to spread my efforts to a bigger market in order to run with the dynamic of tapping into a global market to survive. Online is the only way for me to get through the crisis at home.

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So it’s New Year and I am determined to work on my focus this year. It is still the bank holiday today and so there are only three options for me in terms of work today.
Contrary to what a mindset coach might say about using today to get on with my accounts – which are due for submission at the end of this month (Aaargh!) – I am spending a little time clearing out my inbox and taking some time with my Forex training guru, Dr. Barry Burns.

As a trained hypnotherapist and a highly successful trader of over twenty years, I reckon this is time well spent. After all, my training as a forex trader is going to take time. I have to continue to study no matter what pressing earnings related tasks I have to do. The accounts can wait until later! I need to be consistently building my knowledge in preparation for starting paper trading in the next month or two (probably in time for my 48th birthday next month!)

Click Here To Get Your FREE Five Day Video Trading Course

Dr Barry Burns at Top Dog Trading is a fantastic teacher of the technical tools involved in analysing price action and guiding your trading in Forex markets: entry points, risk management, etc. But to me, any trader can teach this stuff fairly well with some practice if they know their stuff. What I love about Barry Burns is that he puts you in the right frame of mind first before even going near your screen. This is vital. I talk a lot elsewhere about Mindset and consistency of effort in this dimension of managing yourself and the effectiveness and profitability of any business.

I have already attended a variety of seminars online about how to trade forex markets as a beginner, working from home and more often than not, there is a lot of focus on the technical side of trading. Of course, this learning is crucial, but at the end of the day markets are unpredictable. At the moment they are-to quote our leaders – “febrile“. This means that one’s attitude and behviour needs to be even more under control before starting to deal with something that can bring out the most intense of our emotions – money!

Consistency and peace of mind are even more essential when stability is not present in the market if you do not want to lose your house! When the market behaves differently from what you expect, this can be unnerving and frustrating. At times like these, when economies are volatile, dealing in the market can be “largely a random walk“, says Dr Barry Burns. It is, therefore essential that we stick to our trading rules and stick to our favioured setup criteria for trading, which has a higher probability scenario.

Life is a risk; it is up to us to stack the odds in our favour. Consistent trading habits are a disipline that the most successful traders have mastered and constantly make reference to; we must plan our trade and trade our plan, be vigilant and patient in seeking those high probability setup opportunities and trade them whenever they occur.

This does not mean trading all the time, however. At the moment, as I am not trading, I am learning before I start, that I must not over trade when I eventually get really stuck in. For me personally, learning this lesson now could be crucial. I know what I am like when I get hooked on something! I am like a terrier! It’s one thing to copy the Big Dogs, but Dr. Burns refers to “having the discipline to wait like a cat in the brush until just the right moment (your high probability setup) and then jump on the trade without hesitation.” I love this analogy! It’s also kind of what I am doing in terms of my eduction and training too… The time to get stuck in will be right when I am good and ready!

I have already got a (work in progress) trading log set up, to start learning from when I inevitabley start making any mistakes. Anyone who understands the therapy process will know that a journal can be our best insight into why we do what we do and also when we do those things that do not help us, because some negative mindset got the better of us. I do not have money to waste and being in my late forties, I do not have a lot of time to get my nest egg sorted. It’s vital I see where my weak spots are, to learn fast and minimise my liability to myself as a budding professional trader!

On my Desktop, I already have a list of my day trading rules – yes even before I have started trading! – so when that glorious day comes, my brain will already be following the messages I have seen every day for the last month or so daily. This will help for me to follow my trading rules on auto-pilot more easily, because I already have that voice telling me to only trade to my rules, etc.

As a newbie and a late-learner it is probably even more vital that I be more disciplined than the average trader. On top of this, I have A.D.D. This increases my risk levels in terms of distractability or occasional impetuos behaviour. This is part of the reason – apart from the lack of trading capital – that I am working on my mental habits now. I know from other risky hobbies in the the past that to depart from your rules no matter how good that (dive/ surf /trade) “looks” or “feels” to you right now, if it is contrary to one’s plan and back-tested rules, you risk losing an arm and a leg!

I am pretty aware of my ‘emotional liabilities’ and so I understand the importance of what (trading) masters say when they recommend only diving /surfing / trading when in an optimal emotional and cognitive state. So trading when tired or after yet another row with my dear mother, is going to be a no-no.

In some senses, it does not matter on what you are focussed: be it athletics, business meetings, or academic studies, shopping; the mindset should always be the same to get the best from limited resources.

Time is our most treasured asset and where markets are concerned, it seems to me that a lot of SUCCESSFUL traders spend a lot of time waiting around for their set up, leaving less time for the actual process of active trading.

If this is the case, it’s even more likely we can become keyed up and excitable when the set up appears. These short time frames require the trader to be able to make split second decisions. When I have watched traders at work, my adrenalin is riotous come the moment of hitting the button! All that risk hinging on split second decision making. Given the level of angst and fear I feel just watching others, I know I have a way to go before I trade real money. Meantime I want to make sure my trader mind is sharpened and my emotions are totally centered and Zen-like!

Many day trading courses recommend keeping a detailed trading log. Apparently not many people use them however. I cannot help wondering if this is a key to the reason why such a high percentage of traders LOSE MONEY! As a kid I kept scrap books to help me review what was important to me. As a teen I kept a teeny-tears diary, so this mid-life-trader-journal should really just become a logical progression!

I’ve set up an Excel file with these headings: Date, Pair, Initial Risk, Win, Loss, Break Even, Avg Gain, Avg Loss, Pips / Swing, Notes

And in my notes I intend to keep an eye on what is going on around the times of my trade in terms of:
Thoughts and Feelings for Entry and Exit (for Trading Biofeedback). Notes on triggers for distress or anxiety and behavioural cues and outcomes.

The point here is to learn what I do in acutality. This is not just unknown territory to me in terms of a new income earner, I am aware I have some huge baggage in terms of money! The point is to consistently TAKE ACTION on my observations; turn successes and failures into new or more refined goals.

Observing the detail of what makes us act the way we do helps us identify what might otherwise be COSTLY lessons.

It’s too easy to get attached to what we want to happen in the market and become trigger happy or over-attached to a losing trade in the hope that the market will turn in our favour. This is NOT a hobby! I intend to regard this as a new profession and any business person will tell you that their diary is their best learning tool, in the absence of feedback form colleagues and customers. It’s our own personal SWOT analysis.

One trader refers to the following records: B/E points, 9 Pivot Levels, support and resistance:
R2, M4, R1, M3, CPP( – sell above; buy below. ), M2, S1, M1, S2

So, what I am learning from Dr. Barry Burns is that one’s trading rules are not solely about indicators, price bars, where you get in and where you get out, it’s also about learning to know ourselves – why we choose or choose not to act on these technical tools available to us to stay focussed on what we see the market do in reality.

Markets ARE INCONSISTENT, so it’s easy for those 95% to continue to fail because their rules are built on market action alone and indicators which do not always hold true. Like anything in life it seems to me, people fall into holes, because they do not follow the more important rules the learned rules about their own responses to situaltions and learned positive behaviour to change their outcomes for the better.

Barry Burns sums this up nicely in one of his articles: “If you find yourself resisting the importance of these rules about your own behavior, realize that you are one of the masses who feels the same way. But since the masses fail at day trading, you must set yourself apart and do something different than them….Successful people do what unsuccessful people are unwilling to do.”

Dr. Barry Burns is the owner of Top Dog Trading which teaches people how to avoid the long learning curve in day trading and helps people improve their focussed trading. I recommend any of his articles whether you are new to the game or think you are a veteran trader!

Click Here to View the Top Dog Trading Blog

I for one can’t wait to invest in my first trading courses with this guy, his material just makes perfect sense!

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I thought about the comind New Year a couple of weeks back and wondered what I might want to focus on in 2012 to get closer to where I want to be. For those of you who have read any of my previous blogs, you will know I have been trying a few things already and that I do have issues with focussing on one goal at a time.
We all struggle with this need to focus on the task in hand. In this digital age, focus and concentration is even harder to do, with all the distractions out there.

One of my first resolutions was based on the consistent news I was picking up on last year about the increasing costs to our purse and planet from the increasing cost of food. Last year, I neglected my garden whilst focussing on a low-leverage network marketing business. Meantime, I have been broke and have not always had my daily dose of five vegetables and fruit. My lack of greens has definitely taken its toll on my health this past few months.

So I decided that in 2012, I needed to add to my orchard, with salad and greens. As it happens, this ties in nicely with an affiliate program I am starting soon with a company called Wikaniko. I tend to buy products which are kind to the environment and as it happens, this company have ethics aligned to saving the planet too AND sell seeds! Bingo! I now have no excuses.

Today I got a second incentive to pursue this… I listened to a talk online from Michael Ellsberg, who was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, as well as cancer. He talks about the importance of nutrition to not just physical health, but mental health too. For me, this is also really relevant, as I have been diagnosed as being A.D.D. and breast cancer is common in my family.

This is his talk and below that is the link to a reference he makes to a an author he refers to who specialises in diet and its relation to mental health. The link is for a newsletter, as opposed to the free download help-book.

Here’s Michael Ellsberg:

Now, if you are thinking about making New Year’s Resolutions about your diet and health, take a look here:

http://drhyman.com/dr-oz-newsletter-sign-up/

So Have Very Healthy and Happy New Year! : D

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We all know that the blogosphere is a massive newsy place, with all manner of content being re-hashed and recycled all the time. Sometimes, it’s hard to stay ahead of the curve and be inspired to write anything novel. If you are experiencing writer’s block, which comes to us all sometimes, here’s a handy tool that helps you stay on top of the news related
to any of the topics or themes your write about or to keep affiliate programs you promote interesting and relevant to your readers.

All you need to do is visit this helpful Google site and for instance, put in the search
terms, “forex online,” “bear market,” “day trading,”
“dealing stocks” or what-ever other term you could be using to
promote your products or services and the Google bots will send you the latest news for your preferred key terms via email as material is released.

Your daily / weekly Google Alerts can be signed up to here: http://www.google.com/alerts

How is this to your website’s advantage?

Your primary resource? Your TIME of course! This will save you time in terms of not having to go searching, and researching content and makes copy-writing much easier! Do the smart thing: Re-use and recyle the news! Let someone else do half the work occasionally!

If it is positive news, you can post it online to your website to
update your visitors. Google rewards your for your uniqueness and relevance remember, so tie this content into the product or service as it applies to you. Now make it your own… Ask your readers for comments or put your own slant on the information.

Studies and testing shows that some people are much more apt to purchase a product based upon “just released” news. Your early adopters will love you and love showing off to their buddies and forum friends about how ahead of the trend they are!

You may have to get creative in tying the recent news
to your promotion, but with a little tweaking of what has already been written means that for little brain-work, your results will be more effective.

This free version of Google Alerts will notify you as soon as
the news becomes available across the web. They also have
a paid version which has a couple more advanced features.
Personally, I don’t think you can go wrong with either.
Freebies are always good and I have used this on and off (more off than on!) for a few years.

There is some great inspiration in there for those brain-dead days! Just be judicious in its use… Stay unique and don’t get complacent! You have a duty to deliver quality content, for the sake of those visiting you and to ensure the spiders from Mars like you too!

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It’s over a week since I wrote and I have hardly had a moment it seems to get all the ambition posts covered. All of the gurus tell you to “Focus! Focus! Focus!”. The trouble is when you are balancing your future ambitions for trading the Forex markets with the here and now practical realities of scraping a living to get one’s bills paid, whilst living in a space that is probably impractical to maintain, tasks just continue to drop off the daily or weekly plan.

At this point in my life, I might not have kids and a 9-5 but feel like I am juggling life to my limit, what with:
! Phone calls from brokers of carbon credits, as a result of registering an interest on competition web-sites; one of these companies is encouraging me to sell my car to boost my initial investment lump-sum!
! Maintaining some online administration work for a company registered abroad. For this I have wrestled anhourly rate just above the national minimum wage… I can’t complain however, as I am not having to pay for clothes to go out to work in or for fuel in my car to get there… My only cost is the heating in my home office, which is easier said than done!
! Learning a new free-lance job of online marketing. As yet, I am not convinced that the technology required is doing the job to enable me to do this job effectively!
! Studying what is increasingly becoming a real source of fascination, namely the markets – specifically trading foreign currencies.
! Staying on top of emails, which threaten to over-whelm me at any moment.
! Managing incredibly challenging financial conditions… Unless you have ever been in circumstances which prohibit you from setting up direct debits to automate

Now, I’ve only recently lost my canine best friend, but already find myself relieved that I am not having to walk him any more… Aside from the Winter-cold, I can barely keep up with myself and daily tasks as it is! And right now, all I want to do is wrap myself up in learning everything I can about Forex – my new passion!

Much as I try to survive on 7 or 8 hours sleep – which seems excessive to some – I cannot do any less without snoozing in the afternoon. I think this is an A.D.D. thing. It might sound strange, but I am increasingly convinced that it takes a lot more mental energy to perform to standard’s of an average person consistently. In my 9-5, there were days when all I did was yawn, much to the consternation of colleagues. One even told me he thought I had something wrong to be yawning so much. It never occurred to me then the full implications of his impressions.

! My blog… Well I am going to have to turn off the ability of anyone to make comments here, as I am drowning in spam bottery! I have ambitions for this site… I want to share some of the insights I gain on my road to financial security and independence….

Today’s top tip… Check out one of my current forex trading heroes, who I am following closely right now. Dr. Barry Burns trained as hypnotherpaist / NLP professional, which makes him possibly the most relaxed of trainers of this complex business. He also comes from strong trading stock! His father traded for over sixty years and taught him… The guy is one of those people you want to meet and give a big hug too. His method of training inspires you with the confidence that you can do this…

He combines simplicity of approach with strong technical know how… Check his free videos out if you are finding a new way to earn a living from home and think that trading the markets is a possibility. Or if you already trade, I suspect you will be really impressed with what you learn from Top Dog Trading anyway. I have listened to a number of different gurus in the last month or two and his training videos and articles I find to be the most consistently accessible…

Whether you have no idea what Forex even means or you already have some trading experience under your belt and your risk-reward ratio has not been what you hoped for, check out Dr. Barry Burns Top Dog Trading free video series here. Forex Guru Top Dog Training

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The importance of Education is about survival and protection.

I couldn’t believe it, when I was checking out the latest news on ‘Occupy London’ and clicked through to the …. of Ideas (I leave a space here, where I think those involved are also leaving a huge void…, but that’s for another blog!) and friended them on my FB page, only to get a feed saying that Alessio Rastani was speaking to this bunch of ‘free radicals’ at their new home about the markets…

I tuned in for his presentation only to realise that this was the guy who caused that furore on the BBC that evening by saying that traders were not interested in fixing the markets; that is not their job. Their job is to profit no matter whether the market is healthy or recession looms.

I remember laughing out loud as I ate my tea listening to this guy and tipped my cap at his honesty. They guy was obviously ingenuous and it seems was subsequently taken aback by the response his forthright commentary received.

When I realised this same guy thought nothing of going to talk directly at the …. of Ideas, I had even more respect for him.

I am really not sure if his words were pearls before swine in this video. It’s clear he had to stand his ground as a man making a living by capitalism and was not ashamed of the fact. Nor should he be. As much as there is wrong and corrupt within the systems we daily confront in all its messy detail, we are all forced to compromise in one way or another in order to succeed at our goals…

What Alessio Rastani says here is a lesson to us all. We are in the doo-doo right now and frankly, I don’t see us moving towards growth any time soon – even if that were any kind of ideal anyway, given its lack of consideration of ecological capital. So, it’s up to every one of us to learn what we can about what is going on in that mysterious world of the markets that infiltrates every aspect of our daily life… And to make the best we can of it to achieve financial freedom, measured only against our personal values and out impacts on others …

This is still all very new to me right now, but I appreciate the likes of Alessio’s leadership and commitment to sharing his knowledge with anyone who will listen. Until trading currencies on the forex markets can be demonstrated as inherently immoral to me, I am learning everything I can and will be following his and the trading community’s lead. What a way to earn a living!

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Your Crash Course in Online Business Success

I had a slight eye-opener of a conversation with a friend just recently after feeling really upset over some personal events that had happened. I told her that I struggled with depression, which was making what had happened pretty tough for me to deal with. She told me that she didn’t think I was depressed.

In a sense, in spite of the weight I felt inside, she was right. Her experience of me on the whole is of my being pretty positive about how I go about my life. However, what my friend failed to realise was that it is my long-time experience of keeping depression from blighting my life, having come back from the brink a few times, which forces me to always take a positive stance in relation to challenging circumstances.

The fact is, of late a combination of difficulties just led to my breaking down temporarily and feeling set back in dealing with some of the more personal stuff going on at that time. I am pushing into new territory in my life and at times, that could get pretty scarey, if I let it.

For anyone who has taken any time here before, you will be aware of my moves towards taking greater control of my financial life, developing an online presence and deciding to establish my own business in spite of what might be construed as a wider economic depression. Certainly, the markets of late would confirm this sense of pervasive gloom about the prospects for growth and recovery amongst the various classes of equities.

Neverthelss, in spite, of all of this general depression happening – in addition to my own – I nevertheless took another step forward recently in making a decision to learn a new set of skills, which build on my knowledge and in turn I am learning even more about those topics for which I have a natural interest. There are some issues which I have never been able to walk away from and which I sometimes feel incredibly ambivalent about, to the point of having regularly and actively turned away from over the past decade or so.

I’m talking about my love-hate relationship with the wider political and economic world.

But everyones’ circumstances change. I’ve now made that difficult decision that I want out of the broke world of employment as soon as I can possibly make it… And I have achieved some success in securing freelance work online from home via People Per Hour. (For anyone else looking for an extra source of income, I recommend checking them out).

But still, much as I love writing, the coywriting contracts have not been so forthcoming. The competition online is fierce, when you are up against cousins in poorer parts of the world who can pull the pricing rug from under you in competitive terms!

However, having eventually secured some regular part-time work, via PPH, after numerous failed bids, I now need to supplement my basic income. I decided to think the unthinkable and consider trading the markets, whilst I lack the capital to pick up with my next network marketing ventures.

Now, let’s be clear here, I’m a smart girl. I know that, but my friend, the fact is, I also have really poor numeracy skills. Yes, I got my ‘O’ level back in the day, but for that I have to thank the ever supportive Mr. Curtis, of the dynamic Curtis teacher-brother duo, for holding my hand for two years and dragging me through that awful exam…

To give you an idea of my attitude to numbers… I was that eleven year old kid in his class who answered a quick fire times table question one day – correctly… times-tables are not too much of a problem…everything else IS – only for Mr. Curtis to reverse the sum, which I also answered correctly. He then asked what the answer would be if I stood on my head and did the calculation. FATAL!

As a visual learner with no clue of the symbolic value of apparently meaningless cyphers, I, seeing these cyphers in my back to front- upside down minds’ eyes, reversed the figures in the answer, so they were back to front. Perfect sense to me! Of course, I was wrong… 7×8=56 no matter how upside down a girl’s world is! But determined to prove his point or teach me a vital lesson, Mr. Curtis sent me outside to do a handstand, say the multiplication and come back with the answer.

I went into the school yard. I did my hand-stand, pictured the numbers which stayed understandably turned upside down with me and appeared back-to front. So, I duly came back insisting 65 was MY answer!

He didn’t laugh out loud and bless him, he didn’t allow anyone in the class to laugh either. But I think that day just reinforced the fact that I was never really going to excel in maths! In fact, to this day, adding up, subtraction, problem solving and percentages still make me very edgy and unsure. Doing my accounts is my worst nightmare!!!

So why am I now looking at learning about the Forex market? (I mean apart from the possible unethical impacts of trading in that market?) TRADING IS ALL ABOUT NUMBERS AND COMPLEX CALCULATIONS!

Well, I guess, because no matter how difficult I find something to do, one thing that never gets in my way of forging ahead, once my mind is set on a course of action, is FEAR. Even if I believe the sky will fall on my head and the Gods may strike me down for trying, I defy all the evil forces stalking this world to stop me in my curiosity! My depression is about the PAST, not the FUTURE!

For some people, they go through life letting fear get in their way of exploring new options. Not me. If anything, I REFUSE to succumb to what stands in the way of progress, be it the world’s or my own…

At the end of the day, I do have a problem here. I want to be financially independent. There are no jobs in the Welsh Valleys for someone with my background… To say nothing of my recent appalling employment record. Then there’s that unwillingness to stay in the closet any longer about my A.D.D. (I have even got to the point of disclosing my ‘disability’ on the relevant section of employment applications. I figure if they don’t want me, what the heck? I’m not suited there anyway.)

The last thing I want is to end up with some tosser of a boss who looks down their nose at me because they believe that my ‘mental incapacity’ which they have not got a clue about is going to screw up their work flow. I just don’t need that kind of attitude, when every day is a battle to keep focus, concentration and effort as it is.

So, here I am. Watching videos and reading incredible amounts of fascinating and terrifyingly dense information about what is going on in that strange financial world out there which dictates how most of the general population lives… And perhaps, more importantly, which the few have learnt to understand how to turn to their advantage…

Well, I am not one for re-inventing the wheel and I figure why change the habit of a life-time… I’m addicted to learning new things. Learning has served me well; it sustains me through the tougher challenges. I’m back on the path to Life-long Learning and fighting my way through this current bout of depression – my own and in the wider world – and I’m happier by the day.

Sure, some of it is still gobbledegook, but I’m confident enough to know, that it is a matter of time and persistant effort and playing ‘Follow My Leader’. So, nowadays my email inbox is crammed with marketing enewsletters from traders and brokers who would have me sign up to their training courses or brokerage platforms… And I’m lapping it up! There might be lots of people losing money out there right now, but it isn’t going to stop me finding out more about how to avoid their mistakes!

I always wondered why the news ends with talk of stock exchanges and currencies…

Ever wondered about what they were talking about at the end of the news with all that talk of ‘footsy’ and markets being depressed, or how the hell banks have the power that they do?

If I can learn this stuff, so can anyone else with some effort … Don’t be scared of what you do not understand … New knowledge could help you make money and free you from all the clammering noise of depression going on around right now http://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics?link=MW_Nav_EP

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So many gurus out there are offering to give you support to get your home business ideas off the ground, it’s mind-boggling sometimes.

Having left yet another network-marketing opportunity recently and still being determined to work from home on my own terms, frankly, I have been signing up left, right and center for enewsletters on how to take my ideas forward.

I now have my sights set on where I want to go; frankly, that’s the easy bit. The hard bit is the ‘breaking it down’ – the working backwards from the dream to the here and now and then carving my own path forward to becoming an entrepreneur.

For someone with A.D.D., that’s pretty hard and today, I start for real pulling my own saleable product together into a business plan for me to work through step by step.

After crashing out of my last MLM, wondering if I was jsut destined to be a failure, because people with ADD are terrible at seeing projects through to the end – it’s one of our weak spots. I wondered if I was ever going to complete anything.

If the truth be told, I only ever stuck at one job for five years maximum. Beyond that, the only thing I have stuck at for any longer than that, is living in the same house for nearly a decade… and given the state of some of the home decor, you wouldn’t believe I’d been there that long!

I am an ideas girl, sure, but the doing and sustaining the actions necessary really is the hard part. So starting with belief in myself on a daily basis, really has been the thing that has kept me going. Because in terms of tangible results, whilst I can see progress, it sometimes feels like I am still not much closer to the goal!

But really, it’s the sticking with it that counts. Every guru I have ever read or listened to says the same thing. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other; the effects will be cumulative.

I have amassed an incredible amount of knowledge of how to run an online and offline business this past few years, since losing the day jobs. I find it incredible how much potential I now have to really change the direction of my whole life because of the studying and efforts I have put in to creating a new life path for myself beyond the 9-5.

Even if I end up going back there to keep the roof over my head (that leaks!), I also have another stream of income which is helping me right now, which I would never have had, if I had have stuck at the job I had a few years ago. It does not pay even half of what I earned back then, but it doesn’t matter.

I don’t commute. And I can honestly say, that since the passing on of my four legged friend a couple of months ago, I now no longer even have to get dressed for the day and can just shower and put on fresh pyjamas for the day’s work, then fall into bed without even thinking about getting changed!

If that sounds less than hygienic or ideal to some of you, well we are all different, but hey, I have so much else to cram in these days, it suits me perfectly.

If you are looking to find another income stream, start by checking out the freelance sites here on the net.

I began with PeoplePerHour.com, but there are plenty of other online work agencies these days, catering for all skill sets, try . Because, I now know that I need to stick with what I am good at, I use copywriting sites to get writing, proof-reading or other creative contracts.

Freelance options can keep you afloat whilst you continue to build towards your bigger goals. I would have gone under a lot sooner, had it not been for the growing options for working at home. When I have finished paying the bills, the time I have I continue to invest as ‘sweat equity’ into my business to be.

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Have Fun Making Plans

Illuminations

I realised yesterday it was already the eve of Bonfire Night once more.  Another year nearly over and another time for reflection on how my plans for building permanent and lasting wealth, well-being and happiness for my future are panning out.  This time of year is always a little weird and wobbly for me.  I wish I knew why the sound of fireworks going off generally has set my nerves on edge so much in the past.  It’s not as if I am old enough to remember the Blitz or anything!  But there is something about the sounds and the sentiments surrounding this time of year that can make me somewhat edgy and emotional.

Bonfire night has associations of childhood and excitement for most people.  It evokes memories of shared family fun for many -sparklers, Cathryn wheels, local bonfire displays.  For me, however, it is truly the most painful time of the year. It beats Christmas and Easter hands down on the sadness Richter Scale. These two traditional family oriented celebrations are supposed to be the most depressing celebrations in the British calendar for those who are alone. Bonfire night – who gets depressed over that?

Well, is there anyone else out there, who gets choked as the smoke from the local fireworks and fires cloud the night? Surely, I am not the only one who tries to ignore it. Or at least try not to dwell too much on remembering too many teenage Bonfire Nights gone before, when I just felt plain lonely, listening and watching others’ fireworks through bedroom windows, half-aware that others were sharing fun and laughs, whilst I was alone.  It took all the pleasure out of watching the lights go off above rooftops around.

Flashes of Inspiration

It has not always been like this, thank goodness. There was only one period of my life I can remember really enjoying the fireworks and that was when I lived in a tenth storey flat on the outkirts of Madchester, where I enjoyed fantastic views over Manchester city centre and the outskirts of Salford.  Those seven years, I had a balcony view of some of the most fantastic firework displays I have ever experienced and anyone else could hope for.  The pyrotechnics were a point of pride for the city which had two firework factories. They were breathtaking in their scale.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence, that this was a time which coincided with a sense of freedom I had never known in my own home town.  Perhaps that was why I could enjoy the displays without any of the old associations coming to mind for me again in these here valleys tonight.  Nobody to share with… but you folk reading…

Afterglow

So now I have laid bare a little of the sadness in my soul, I also want to share some of the good stuff about being alone tonight with the spirit of Guy Fawkes stalking the land… The point is, writing about my take on Bonfire Night helps me get over any of the mental and emotional blocks I have with this difficult night of the year.

Here’s the thing, No matter how difficult this or any other day for any one of us, there is always some satisfaction in sharing our struggles over the hurdles we perceive before us… Some new lesson learnt, some new milestone achieved by just acknowledging the challenge and doing something to tackle it and move forward…

For me right now, regardless of whatever happened back there in childhood to mar the enjoyment of Guy Fawkes’ legacy, the objective truth is simply this, I am still here and I am, albeit intermittently, still ‘Being, Doing and Having’ and writing my blog of how it goes sometimes for this would-be entrepreneur.

I have recently been making a bonfire of all my entrepreneurial ‘failures’ in my mind this past few weeks and the smoke is already clearing here.   I know what I have to do, even if I am still learning to follow maps through darkened ante-chambers and adapt to unexpected doors locked, walls to break through and gates to climb en route.

There is still, amongst whatever residual sadness I feel, a lasting – albeit sidelined -joy on bonfire night. For me there is something about seeing lights in a sky which is all dark which reminds me that faith exists, even if we do not feel it all of the time. The flashes of colour are but glimpses which leave us anticipating the delight, beauty and wonder of the next one to come; this is the excitement of Bonfire Night.  Fireworks are a reminder that the year moves on, as do our plans and that even in the cold of Winter, there are reasons to keep feeling optimistic and grateful for any warmth from the fires we may have lit in our world.

Smoke Clears

I have much to celebrate this year. I have my home still – in spite of the pervading threat of reposession. I have my cat, Milly to cuddle me, even if my trusty pooch, Mo, has now left us. I have my lap top and thus my connection to the world, even if my ability for paying the next installment is touch and go!  I have food… Even if the cupboards seem bare by comparison to the days of the 9-5. I have a community of readers and online friends…

I have much more than many millions of people the world over could possibly ever dream of… So tonight, I am letting go of some residual sadness I attach to this time of year.  Guy Fawkes, whether you agree with his methods or not, you have to agree that he at least had the spirit and drive to change what he saw as the wrongs in his world… He and his conspirators acted on their convictions and did the unthinkable.  Any self-respecting British person would do well to heed his legacy. We don’t light put his effigy on the top of the fire out of some jingoistic loyalty to our ‘great British democracy’. We acknowledge the power of his and his collaborators’ determination in acting on their belief… His audacity is an example to anyone who lacks fire in their belly to light the touch paper on their own aspirations and dreams….

So I will continue to keep unlocking doors and tramping through darkness … Pulling the threads of my passions and convictions together into some kind of coherent plan for how I want my own future to look.  Looking forward to the day when my ideas take light and maybe inspire others to follow…

Right now as I share the sounds of fireworks going off outside, I feel I can breathe a little easier this Bonfire Night and even enjoy some of the startling and unanticipated eruptions around the valley tonight… So tonight I mind the smokey air and sense of fear or of being an outsider less than in recent years, because tonight, I feel thre is reason again for a celebration of hope for something better permeating my psyche nowadays.

Sharing Hopes, Plans and Dreams

Who knows, maybe I am not really alone anyway, because, I know I share similar lifestyle aspirations with potential future collaborators and co-conspirators now, because even if they are no longer at my side carrying barrels of gun-powder, we are all within the walls together!

So, reader, make your plans and continue to act on the. Fire your dreams and hopes up, no matter how audacious and in spite of whatever ridicule or apathy of those you encounter on the way. Let’s celebrate even when plans go wrong! After all, the Gun Powder Plot conspirators didn’t manage to blow up the Houses of Parliament.  But Guy Fawkes succeeded in not being hung drawn and quartered, even if he broke his neck and died in the process of the consequences of his actions!!! He died following his beliefs and in the end, nobody got hurt, but he and his co-conspirators!

Enjoy your bonfires!

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This weekend I watched one of my favourite comedy troupes, the Pythons at their best in ‘The Life of Brian’.  If you are an Evangelical Christian, look away now!  This film makes me howl laughing and after the week I ‘ve just had, I needed it.  Technical problems abounded on my computer as I contracted a particularly nasty virus that seemed not only like creeping death, but robbed me of the ability to relax at the weekend with my favourite online chill-out buddy, BBC i-Player.

A good belly laugh was well needed after spending torutous hours and hours throughout the course of a week in an online I.T. help forum , getting help from kindly techy community members.. I cannot tell you how grim last week was, as I watched absolutely necessary earnings slide out of view and the crest of this debt ravine I am in move a little further away from my line of vision….

I am, as anyone might gather from reading my posts and articles a bit of a BBC addict.  I do not possess a TV… YES It’s true people, I don’t see the need with a radio and lap top,  I am completely wired to the world!  But, as ever, I digress…

The challenges I have faced this past few years since walking out on predictable income earning have been phenomenal and continue to test me to my limits… But nevertheless, I can honestly say that consistent efforts, even in the direction of blind allies is teaching me so much about success and failure and progress and even more about who I really am, I would not change a thing.

For regular readers, you will know I am a fan of Network Marketing businesses.  And I have now been through a few already in the past few years… And failure is still bringing me closer and closer to success… Even as I eat cold beans on toast when the gas meter runs out!

I swear my few friends who see me struggle, think I am nuts and just need to get a job and move on.  But this isn’t a phase… There is no turning back to wage slavery for me. Even if I have to return to that prison cell temporarily, to eradicate the debt I have accrued during my trial and error of different business models, I absolutely am going to find what is right for ME!

To date, I have started an ‘Intrapreneurial’ Venture with a marketing company, a financial services company, a catalogue retail company and now, I am coming closer to a business model I can not only truly get passionate about, but that is not going to break the bank!

Some companies will encourage you to finance the investment in setting up your own business with a loan.    I did this out of a reluctance to claim benefits from the state.  I had done this not long before after a car accident left me temporarily unable to work.  It was a nightmare. Cathy from the Merthyr Tydfil benefits claims office, if you or your friends ever read this… YOU need a personality transplant or to get sacked – because sadly you are too much of a coward to ever have the guts to leave that job you hate so much you have to treat your customers like shit on your shoe!

This woman made my life a misery and reminded me of those miserable days thirty years ago during the last recession, when I last was jobless.  Being jobless or unable to work can be sould destroying if you do not summon courage to look at other options.

Since my recovery in late Summer of 2009, I have taken on loans to invest in myself and a future where one day I will be FREE in the widest sense.  I may have to work for a living and even work all the hours sent to me for the next ten years, but when I do retire, it will be as a happy woman who has taken control of her life and followed her own heart and mind!

And this is what every truly successful entrepreneur has done before.  So these are the people that we must look to for our own inspiration.

So, apart from now turning to a distributorship company who are the most closest allied to my own ethics and values for some immediate extra earnings, my head spins daily with new possibilities I never even believed were possible… And every day, I might not yet be reaping the fruits of my labour in financial terms, but the rewards will come.  I know it, because every day I see new results I have achieved and movement forward.  And when the going gets tough, that movement is certainty enough.  So I am happy… My time for earning big time and working from home full-time is yet to come…

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